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Parenting and Falling in Love


To grow in parenting means also means constantly falling in love with your spouse


We would readily agree that children should grow up in a stable and secure family environment; in a two-parent family unit, the relationship between husband and wife that provides the foundation for such stability.


If this is so important, it is good practice to constantly examine what are we doing to ensure that the foundation remains strong.


Bringing up children nowadays is not easy. Parents need to support each other in this challenging responsibility. Sometimes we find two parents bringing up their children independently of each other. One can tell that they could do with more support from their spouse. Parenting in this scenario has become a lonely task.


On the other hand, when the husband and wife are united in setting and enforcing rules in the home, children will thrive in consistency. They sense unity. They will not get confused, nor will they be able to play one parent off against the other.


What can you do to start working better as a team? Here is a simple and enjoyable idea: start dating each other and communicating again.


Often, after some years of marriage, we no longer focus our time and attention on our spouse. We may still go out with our spouse – to attend functions or social gatherings; we may still talk – about our children, our friends… but we don’t strive as hard as we did during courtship:


  • To engage in deep conversations,

  • To understand, support or encourage our spouse in their daily struggles,

  • To share our innermost thoughts and feelings and be understood by our spouse, or

  • To simply engage in common interests


We may have fallen in love and gotten married, but to achieve the full potential of our marriage, we need to continue growing in this love. And love grows through communication and effort.


So when is your next date with your spouse?

John Ooi is a father of six children. He writes regularly at It takes a Village to Raise a Child e-newsletter. Article is reproduced with permission.

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