Familiarity vs Intimacy


Understanding the disparity between familiarity and intimacy can help to deepen our relationship with our family

Living with our family under one roof and observing them day in and day out, we might consider that we know our loved ones well, since we would be familiar with their habits, likes and dislikes, etc. But familiarity is different from intimacy, which is the depth of the relationship.

Familiarity can masquerade as intimacy and can be blinding, that is, we think we know our loved one but in reality we hardly know the person at all in the depth of his soul.

If we want to get to know someone and have a deep meaningful relationship, we have to know and understand the person. This is especially important for our relationship with our spouse or adolescent children who have developed their personal identify.

What hinders us from knowing and understanding the other person? Could it be:

  • the way we judge or quickly come to a conclusion about that person’s reasons or motivations? Or

  • the way we classify the person and his actions? (E.g. he’s always like that)

Turning the question around, do I have a behavioural trait that hinders me from developing a close relationship with my spouse and children?

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